Lindsey's Life Literature

Well hello 8 months later.... sheesh.

2010-06-22T18:45:00.000-07:00

Hello all. I kind of forgot i had my personal blog. Ive been busy with my jazzy hoe blog that i neglect to update my individual one. I notice i haven't written since October. I suppose you can say A LOT has happened in the past 8 months. Some i don't care to talk about.. some that are positive :) I now reside in the guest house at my grandparents in New Harmony. I like to refer to it as "The Cottage." I am no Longer with Maverik, and am currently looking for work but finding a job in cedar is like finding a needle in a hay stack. Because of financial issues always getting in the way i have yet to attend hair school... which is why i even moved here a year ago. I would still love to learn the trade, and at the same moment my dad has given me some books and I am studying to be a fire inspector. Maybe i can do both one day. Utah is beautiful and is filled with my family and other not too shabby people.. but i don't think it's for me. Vegas wasnt for me either. As soon as I take care of some things i plan on getting outta here and going where ever the wind takes me (of course having a job and place to live lined up first.) I still continue to write all the time. It's my therapy. I can't believe im going to be 25 in October. It's kinda of freaking me out. I was reading some of my very first posts on here and wow its just nuts how much i have changed... and yet how alike i still am, and that was 2 years ago.
..... Some thoughts.... The sky has lost it's color The sun has turned to grey At least that's how it feels to me Whenever you're away I crawl up in the corner As I watch the minutes pass Each one brings me closer to The time you're comin' back I can't take the distance I can't take the miles I can't take the time until I next see you smile I can't take the distance And I'm not ashamed That with every breath I take I'm callin your name But I can't take the distance I still believe my feelings But sometimes I feel too much I make believe you're close to me But it ain't close enough Not nearly close enough I can't take the distance I can't take the miles I can't take the time until I next see you smile I can't take the distance And I'm not ashamed That with every breath I take I'm callin your name I brave fire and I brave rain To be by your side I'd do anything I can't take the distance I will go the distance I will go the miles That's how much you mean to me 'Cause I can't take the distance I can't take these miles I can't take the time until I next see you smile I can't take the distance And I'm not ashamed That with every breath I take I'm calling your name I can't take the distance It's hard to remember As long as you're away When I find solace There's only one way

For entertainment purposes

2009-10-08T21:57:00.000-07:00

I have a new creation, that i will most definetly update more because... well. Its much more interesting than my life these days. I have a new blog. SO check it out. There will be updates on the daily if possible... with actual events. I would like to thank my co-conspiritor Jill. Who... her and i will be managing the blog. Check it....
Jazzyhoes.blogspot.com

Thank you,
The assistant the to regional manager

Yes blog world, Im still alive...

2009-09-23T03:19:00.000-07:00

I think of the one that I've become. Left blind from the brightness of your Halo. No one shines, like you do. My filthy mouth and broken words. This small disease that leaves me, crawling. Crawling to you. Crawl on the ground for cover, staying close to the dark to keep from falling , from falling. Sold my life to bring the rain, maybe to wash me clean. Sold my soul to stop the pain, hoping you'd set me free .All your fear, all your shame. You know that you can lay it all on me. That you can lay it all on me. I took every chance to lash my tongue. You wore the scabs just like an Angel. There's something about you. Horrible things that I have done. Seems this disease is slowly spreading. Start running, what would you do? I crawl on the ground for cover. Staying out of my mind to keep from dying, from dying. Sold my life to bring the rain, maybe to wash me clean. Sold my soul to stop the pain, hoping you'd set me free. All your fear, all your shame. You know that you can lay it all on me. You know that you can lay it all on me. Would you forget then what I said and how I died inside my head. We're starting over, not pretending that the past is dead. All the pain you'd feel you owned. And times I've should have known. Don't keep it inside, let it out and lay it all on me!

I may not be there yet, but im closer than I was yesterday.

2009-06-30T08:28:00.000-07:00

I wanted to put it in writing that I am so happy right now.

so it is documented and written.

Buisness in the front, Party in the back!

2009-05-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

Alright SO. My cousins and I always sing this song that I used to love when i was a kid. I had the cassette tape and would play it over and over. I just watched the video... and WOW. I am embarassed by my taste in music when i was a kid. Whats more embarrasing are these mullet freaks singing it. I couldnt stop laughing when i watched this. The mulltes, OR Ape Drape. Beaver Paddle. Bi - Level. Camero Cut. Buisness in the front, Party in the back. Canadian passport. Coupe Longveuil. El-camino. Hockey hair. Kentucky waterfall. Missouri comprimise. Mudflap. Neckwarmer. Ranchero. Shlonc (short + long). Achy-breaky-bad-mistakey. Soccer rocker. Squirrel pelt. Tennessee tophat. Yep-nope. KILL ME. I duno. For some reason whenever i think mullet i think of a fellow with the following: My hobbies are sexual harassment, taking advantage of intoxicated employees at company gatherings, browsing thru kiddie porn on company time, etc. So when i see kids with mullets... thats just wrong. Take a gander at the video. Here is your laugh for the week

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFLsHZlqInQ

Dont be mad... get GLAD! (and not gladware)

2009-04-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

So ive decided to post something like one or two times a week that make me giggle. Todays topic... My dad. Rex. I bet alot of you didnt know that he works nights as a drag queen. Dont believe me? See for yourself!!!

To book Rexanne for events and parties please utalize the following to contact his agent.
Phone: 1800-dad-as-drag
Email: Maleidenitycrisis@gmail.com

Looking for an ADVENTURE?

2009-04-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

HI! LINDSEY HERE... YOUR ADVENTURE GUIDE! (im talking... excuse me, YELLING.. in the Billy Mays voice.)

Well as most of you may not know... i now reside in the promise land. (Utah) I moved up to go to hair school in June. Im workin graves at the Maverik gas station... which brings me to my next point. When I went into maverik to fill out my paperwork... i saw that my positions title was "Adventure Guide." I immediatly began to laugh inside, like Uncle Sam does everytime he rapes my paycheck of the wages ive rightfully earned. Anyway- im pretty much running the show in Mav at night.. im the only one working. Apparently its "aventures first stop." SO if youre looking to "Live a little" why dont ya stop on by. We can cruise down the candy aisles... get jacked up on mountain dew, and buy random things like a 10 dollar bottle of nyquil, oil, a blatter buster soda at 4AM, paper towlels, and some chew. And another thing... dont try to mess with me! For instance... if you want cash back when you use your debit card.. common sense.. most places only give up to 20 dollars. SO dont come in 2 nights in a row and be creepy... using your debit card for LITTERALLY a 27 cent piece of gum, and when i ask you if you want cash back... proceed to tell me, "Yes. One thousand dollars please." C'mon now. Be a little bit more clever than that. People wonder why I dont have a boyfriend... its cause you continually prove to me your lack of brain cells ceases to exist... if you want to pick up on a girl.. show her you have more than 27 cents in your bank account. In conclusion... i would like to reiterate the phrase that pays in my life.. "THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT."

More updates to come, for this I am sure. :)

Believers Never Die Tour!

2009-04-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

Sunday night, my friend Tiffany and I went to a concert. We had been looking forward to it for a few months. The headlining band was Fall Out Boy, whom ive always wanted to see in concert! They were GREAT live. The other bands that performed were: Hey Monday, All time low, Cobra Starship, Metro Station, and of course Fall Out Boy. It was a REALLY awesome and entertaining show. Of course, I forgot my camera. I aksed the teenager sitting next to me if she would e-mail me the pictures she was taking. I gave her my address, but she has failed to do so. She kinda looked at me like i was loopy for asking her. The pics i got were taken with my phone. They arent that great, but they'll suffice. ALSO, i made a new playlist with one song each from the bands that played. So while youre reading other blogs, leave a window open with my blog and have a listen, they are all pretty good listens! Probably my favorite thing in the world to do is see bands play live! I love to do it and wish i could more often, money permitting. Enjoy!

ALL TIME LOW

COBRA STARSHIP

TIFF AND I!!!

METRO STATION, GETTING SET UP.

FALL OUT BOY!!!!!!

My soul on the web.

2009-02-25T14:30:00.000-08:00

Via the request by Mrs. Vikkie, i've decided to share some stuff i've been writing. I also wanted to put up some of my favorite artwork i've found on the web. SO.... gaze. and enjoy :) (i hope)

Don't let the silence get you down, though you've been sitting here for hours, hoping a voice could soon be found that speaks much louder than this music. For you're a little off colour and out for the count, don't let that get you down. Don't let the talking keep you up, if they're your friends they'll share your vision...And as the phone rings breaking the silence... they will figure out that you don't want to answer. For you're a little off colour and tired of the sound...Don't let it get you down. Don't let the people make you think that just because you're young you're useless, You know it's not naive to think that you can change the things around and that no man is an island. For I'd rather be a pebble in an ocean vast and drown alone, Than make no sound at all.

I NEED YOUR HELP!

2009-02-23T17:19:00.000-08:00

Alright. I did this the past 2 years and this year i am helping with a new group of friends and collecting donations and participating in the AIDS walk. Any little bit helps. I am trying to give back a little. At times i may get down on myself, but I also realize that there are others out there that are way less fortunate than me and who are suffering. I, however, have my health and my amazing family and good friends. The following link is my personal donation page where u can donate any amount. Anything is greatly appreciated! Your donation will go towards support and advocacy for adults and children living with and affected by HIV/AIDS in southern Nevada. AFAN works to reduce HIV infection through prevention education to eliminate fear, prejudice and the stigma associated with the disease. My link:
https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=291714&lis=1&kntae291714=CAEA20901F55485A9F38F878BA025A5C&supId=247613947

THANK YOU!!!!!!

P.S. I know this wasnt a life update... but i will be doing that as soon as something happens worth talking about :) Love you all!

I pull out my shotty and shoot fool's like John Gotti

2009-01-13T17:26:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was my cousin kristin's 27th birthday. Her and her hubby Jason were going up to New Harmony to spend her birthday up there so I tagged along. It was a good time. We got freakin stuck in the snow in their car though! That was interesting. We went into Cedar for just a bit. We had Costa Vida... which saved my life cause i have had the most intense craving for their sweet pork enchiladas! So it put a nice little grin on my face to get something i was desiring! Later Saturday night we were back in Harmony and Aunt Carla made a chocolate fountain and we had a bunch of treatsies. We proceeded to put in a cd entitled "90's dance songs" that my aunt used to use back when she taught areobics. We had a pants off dance off in the kitchen and danced the night away. Sunday morning Curtis, KC, Jason, Me, and Jason's niece Alyssa went shooting up the canyon by the cattle guard. It was a muddy mess but it was still fun. I shot the 22, the 12 guage, and Jasons 9mm. I was glad to spend time with my extended fam! Who would trust me with a gun? haha! KC thought he was funny sneakin in the pic.

Curtis with the 9. He's pretty legit.

Pee Wee's Big Adventure

2009-01-03T22:02:00.000-08:00

It seemed like any typical crisp winter friday night in vegas. I was home alone scrounging for food in the kitchen. The front door opened and Jess walks in. I wasnt expecting to see her! I didnt know she was commin down. SO Jess had the bright idea that we should go for a bike ride on my new bike and she would take Moms new pink beach cruiser.
We only had like 45 minutes of daylight left. We headed up the road laughing at one another cause it had been so long since either of us has been on a bike. We get maybe a mile away from the house when my cell phone falls outta my pocket. So i pull on my breaks. My bike and I come to a hault.... and so do my handle bars. They came off the bike!!!! I was like WHAT THE DEUCE?!?! So i put the handle bars back in the socket but they wouldnt attach right, so i was unable to control my front tire. I couldnt even walk along side my bike let alone ride it cause i had no control... the front tire was all skiwampitz! IT JUST SO HAPPENS that there was an Albertsons shopping cart on the side of the rode right where we had our little mishap. Jess and I put my bike in the shopping cart and i had to push the bike home (roughly about 1 mile, not sure) Oh my heck it was so embarrasing! i can imagine people cracking up.... cause i know me and jess would be rollin on the ground if we saw such a show! She laughed at me the whole way home.... it was a pretty funny time. we took a few pics with the cell phone to capture the moment.
Im sure there will be many more adventures to tell of bike rides.... if you know how "special" i am.... i always get myself into some sort of mess!

The bike in the shoppin cart

The freakin handlebars came off!!!!

What we fear most

2008-12-22T12:46:00.000-08:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure,
It is our light not darkness that most frightens us,
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesnt serve the world.
Theres nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
Its not just in some of us; its in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear; Our presence automatically liberates others.

This weekend in Bootytah

2008-12-14T16:09:00.000-08:00

Lou, Cub, and I at the SUU game.
This weekend was pretty fun. I was up in Cedar with the family for a funeral. I froze my butt off! it snowed 6 inches while we were there and honestly I have no idea how i used to live there! I guess i was a trooper back then but as of now i am officially a wimp in the cold! I cant believe how close to Christmas it's getting! Holy crap! Another year down the crapper. HAHA. While in Cedar I hung out with my friend Cub (Kaitlyn) most of the time. We honestly are so goofy together. We made a CD of the most random songs... like back from the 90's. All her roomates were gone for the holidays so we put the CD in while we were in the kitchen and we had a dance party! Oh my heck if you would have seen us you would have died. I busted out the sprinkler, the fax machine, and many more moves that I invented! Later we went to the SUU girls and boys basketball game. The girls won and the boys game was a close and intense game, but we ended up losing. I got to see Lindi (Lou) at the game and it was so good to see her! I miss her.

Well this week i'll be wishing i had the money to go buy Christmas presents for everyone I love but living on your own isn't cheap! And i'm pretty upset I dont have the money to do what i'd like to do for my friends and family. And in the words of George Costanza, "HAPPY FESTIVUS!"

IT'S A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!

Oh and also.. i heard a song today on my ipod that made me tear up (Shon, go look this one up.. it's on Anberlins new CD and the song is called "Breathe") for the rest of you... here are some of the lyrics:

"This is surrenderTo a war-torn life I've lived.Scars and stripes foreverIn need of change I can't resist.No need to hide anything anymore.Can't return to who I was before.I can finally breathe.Suddenly alive.I can finally move.The world feels revived.This long of a struggleFinally opened up my eyes.Revolution's not easyWith a Civil War on the inside.No need to hide anything anymore.Can't return to who I was before.I can finally breathe.Suddenly alive.I can finally move.'Cause I realize.I can finally breathe.Suddenly alive.I can finally move.The world feels revived."

Thanksgiving Weekend

2008-11-28T10:50:00.000-08:00

This week/weekend has been pretty filled up for me. In the pic above is me and my good friend darci who lives in Arizona now. I havent seen her in about a year and we got to hang out for a bit on Sunday so it was nice!
I wanted to badly to be with my family on Thanksgiving but they were all planning on being in Utah... and I am moving this weekend so it seemed like things werent going to work out. However Tiffany and I made it work and we came up to New Harmony Wednesday night and. We spent Thanksgiving in New Harmony with My parents and sister, Mark and Lisa and the 3 boys... my grams and gramps... and 2 other random people who i honestly had no idea who they were. LOL afterwards We met up with kristin, KC, cuurtis, and Kaitlyn... We went into Cedar and saw a flick. Tiffany and I are getting ready to head back to Vegas in a few minutes. We will be packing and moving all weekend. LAME! but I am excited to be living with friends.
Over and Out!

Random thoughts...

2008-11-21T12:12:00.000-08:00

That is a fairly old photo of me... i would say at least 3 years. But I saw it and thought it sort of pertained to the topic i am going to shortly rant about. I get in my own head a lot, and about the most useless crap sometimes. Today I was thinking:

Things I wonder about the FBI's list of "Ten Most Wanted Criminals":
When they catch a guy and he moves off the list, does number 11 automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, "I made it Bruno. Im finally on the list!" ? How about when a new really dangerous guy comes along and they absolutely have to put him at the top of the list without delay? (Call it "Number 1 with a bullet," if you will.) Doesn't everyone else have to move down a notch? And doesnt one guy get dropped off? How do they decide which guy to drop? Is it automatically number 10? And how does he feel about that? Does he feel threatened? Does he feel maybe it should have been someone else? Has anyone who was ever demoted ever killed the new guy to gain his spot back?

One last thought: Does the FBI search harder for number 3 than they do 7? I would. Otherwise why have the numbers at all?

-When your toilet won't stop running, and you put your hand in the tank to fix the chain, dont you wonder, briefly, whether or not the water in the tank has already been in the toilet bowl?

-They say that rather than cursing the darkness, one should light a candle.
They don't mention anything about cursing a lack of candles.

-I typed the word "google" into google. Guess what came up? Everything.

-When i worked downtown by all the wedding chapels, i wondered how many eventual homicides have resulted from weddings preformed at the Happy wedding chapel.

-Personal ad I saw the other day.... no joke. "Hello im Henri. I am 55 years old and i am looking for someone who will leave me alone. Please respond. And then leave me alone."

-If no one knows when a person is going to die... how can we say he died prematurely?

-You know what you NEVER see anymore? A guy with a pencil behind his ear.

These are the thoughts that keep me from making any real progress in life. :0)

Said I'd die for you one time....

2008-11-20T13:26:00.000-08:00

.....but never again. ever get stuck? in the little canoe that you've pushed yourself into. in the middle of the lake. paddling out there. then you get there. and you realize, that you don't know where you are? and you don't have any oars to row back? because apparently you've lost your mind.

sometimes, i feel like that. i wonder if life has a plan for me. or if i make my own plan. i wonder if things are really as attainable as they seem. or if everything relys on circumstance. if things happen for a reason... or if the reason is never there.. and things just happen, because well... shoot, everything happens.

is timing really everything? because mine is the worst. and it comes in floods. like a dam that crashes and falls and then all of a sudden theres a rush of water. like a plague.

its always ups and downs. its always wrong and right. i can't help but feel like theres more out there. but i also can't help but feel like this is where i'm supposed to be. its like theres a tug of war going on.

but i'm the rope.

hey, you beauty supreme.
yeah, you were right about me.
but can i get myself out from underneath this guilt that will crush me?
and in the choir,
i saw a sad messiah.
he was bored and tired of my laments.
said i'd die for you one time, but never again.
never again.

well, i love you so much.
but do me a favor, baby... don't reply.
'cause i can dish it out.
but i can't take it.

ever have that feeling that everything you say is genuine. and all of the things you write and all of the words that come out of your mouth... well, they actually mean something. and all of your feelings... they're real, and you mean them. and you want them to convey meaning. and you CAN FEEL them...you know they are there.

but you can't seem to figure out if the same is true for everyone else?

UPS finally called today... i have my orientation on Saturday. Im guessing we will be starting work on monday. Its about time! I was starting to get upset. I need the $krilla. Im getting ready to move in with some friends thanksgiving weekend. Should be interesting. Im looking forward to living with my friends but not the "moving" part. The picture is from when i was in utah hanging out with my cousins... they always put a smile one my face.

There are those....

2008-11-20T12:59:00.000-08:00

There are those:

Who will love you no matter what you do.

Who will do it with you.

There are those:

Who will judge you for the mistakes you make.

Who will forgive you.

There are those:

Who understand the reasons why.

Who don't really care.

There are those:

Who know the depths of your heart.

Who will break it.

There are those:

Who you can tell anything.

Who will repeat it.

Which one are you?

Life's too short to worry, life's too long to wait.

2008-11-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

I have had more time than I would like to think latley. I have been thinking about everything possible. Today I was thinking about how you never realize how much you take for granted until you don't have it, and when you think things are tough... someone more than likely has it 20 more rough than you have got it. I am a person who fears to live in regret, and I don't care what anyone says... we all have them. YES... we all do things, and eventually learn from our mistakes, but there are still little aspects of us that want to go back and change the way we would have handled a situation, said something, and so on. I am not one to talk about my feelings... I am much better at writing them. I guess lately I have been feeling like there have been so many doors opened for me in life and instead of walking through them I have closed the doors of opportunity. I know the people in my life are not blind, or as unaware as i make believe in my head that they are. Some probably think I am an idiot with her head up her butt. Well, those some are right. haha I unfortunatly am the type of person that must experience everything herself without listening to reason. (Reason of course being a metaphore for my parents, grandparents, friends..... pretty much anyone giving advice.) and of course the advice not taken in the end is always right.... ALWAYS! And at the same time... with all this screwing up, the one thing ive always wanted since as long as I can remember is approval. Especially with the folks. I know and have been told by alot of my friends that i put way to much pressure on myself to appease my parents. But all I want for them is to be happy. I have cried myself to sleep the past week over this. I realize that they were young and probably didnt know exactly what they were doing at first when they were raising me. However i DO NOT want them to think that they failed. Thinking back... i took them for granted. I rejected them when they would reach out to me, because I was intimidated. I never thought i could have a friendship... a comrodery with them. And as i get older and the world turns.... i am seeing how neat they are. i LIKE being around them... they are funny... but most of all... comforting and nuturing. I know one day I will make them proud... and they won't be ashamed to shout from the rooftops that I am their daughter. All I am asking is that you be patient with me... god isnt finished with me yet.